Coherence: You use transitions to connect each paragraph. For example, you use” Another aspect of Black masculinity that is …” to begin you second paragraph. It helps readers to follow what you are going to say in that paragraph. Also, you use “Despite their strength and virility…” to connect previous two ideas with the third one.
Clarity: It is clear for me to understand. You have an introduction with a clear thesis. Also, each body paragraph explains one aspects of black masculinity, such as strength, a high sexual potency, and uneasiness to share emotion.
your ideas are are very have coherence and as miss B says i really like the fact that you tell when you are quoting something. i did understand what the paper is about.it is about how black male are trying to break the image that society has been used to refer toward them and their masculinity
This is a great video/recording of you reading your paper. Thank you for indicating when you are quoting and where the quotes stop and begin.
ReplyDeleteCoherence:
ReplyDeleteYou use transitions to connect each paragraph. For example, you use” Another aspect of Black masculinity that is …” to begin you second paragraph. It helps readers to follow what you are going to say in that paragraph. Also, you use “Despite their strength and virility…” to connect previous two ideas with the third one.
Clarity:
It is clear for me to understand. You have an introduction with a clear thesis. Also, each body paragraph explains one aspects of black masculinity, such as strength, a high sexual potency, and uneasiness to share emotion.
your ideas are are very have coherence and as miss B says i really like the fact that you tell when you are quoting something.
ReplyDeletei did understand what the paper is about.it is about how black male are trying to break the image that society has been used to refer toward them and their masculinity