There are some grammar errors. For analytical and more formal writing, do not use contractions. For example, don't, didn't. Your introduction consists of three sentences. The last sentence is extremely long. It is easy for the reader to get lost in long sentences and for your idea to lose itself. People now a days like it short and straight forward, they want to get to the information. Sentence structure is also an issue. Why so many parenthesis? You make certain generalizations. In doing so, there is plenty of room for counter arguments. Keep your argument tightly woven, stick to your topic.
There are some grammar errors. For analytical and more formal writing, do not use contractions. For example, don't, didn't. Your introduction consists of three sentences. The last sentence is extremely long. It is easy for the reader to get lost in long sentences and for your idea to lose itself. People now a days like it short and straight forward, they want to get to the information. Sentence structure is also an issue. Why so many parenthesis? You make certain generalizations. In doing so, there is plenty of room for counter arguments. Keep your argument tightly woven, stick to your topic.
ReplyDelete